


The restless should not wander

by CheekyChick1only



Category: One Piece
Genre: Childhood Sexual Abuse, Female Portgas D. Ace, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Trust, Nakama, Nakamaship, Past Sexual Abuse, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:33:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22963951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheekyChick1only/pseuds/CheekyChick1only
Summary: Ace stumbled into something quite unexpected. Now she has to deal with the consequences as the past comes back to interfere with the present
Comments: 4
Kudos: 98





	The restless should not wander

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Unspoken Rule](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15645846) by [JuHuaTai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuHuaTai/pseuds/JuHuaTai). 



Ace was wandering the ship idly. She’d been feeling rather restless lately. It’d been several weeks since they’d docked on an island and even a ship as big as the Moby Dick started to feel cramped after a while. She knew she wasn’t the only one feeling stir crazy. There’d been an increase in arguments around the ship and more and more of those arguments were coming to blows. When Ace started losing control of her already short temper Thatch had made a suggestion for what she could do for stress relief. Ace shivered at the thought. She knew the man had meant well but just the thought made her skin crawl.

A strange sound piqued Ace’s curiosity. She curiously followed the sound which led to a storage room that didn’t look like it was used very often. She opened the door quietly and immediately wished she hadn’t. Apparently, her crew mates weren’t as opposed to Thatch’s suggestion as she’d been, she thought, as she watched Jozu pound into Marco’s pliant body.

This did leave Ace a little confused. Thatch had been very insistent on not approaching Marco for that kind of thing. Were he and Jozu involved with each other? But that wouldn’t explain Thatch’s insistence. Ace dearly wanted to turn and leave and pretend she hadn’t seen anything, but it was like her feet had turned to lead and she was rooted to the spot. Her heart was pounding, and her head was swimming,

Ace tried to will herself to move, to get away from there before she was seen, but almost at that exact moment Marco twisted his head and locked eyes with her. His eyes widened in surprise at the sight of her but then, to Ace’s shock, he smirked at her. He kept his eyes on her even as Jozu continued to pound into him and he made sure to look deep into her eyes as he let out a loud filthy moan.

She ran. Let him think she was embarrassed or naïve or whatever, she knew she needed to get away from there. She wanted to smack herself. How had she not realized what was happening in there? Had it really been so long she’d forgotten what _that_ sounded like? Or was she just so used to the no sex rule she’d imposed on her crew that she didn’t expect to find what she did?

The image of Marco locking eyes with her was burned into her brain. What did he think he was playing at, doing something like that? She thought, irritated. It was like he was trying to tease her. The thought made something in her stomach sour. Marco had been so helpful and supportive when helping her come around to joining the crew, it was a little jarring to have such an abrupt change.

Ace shook her head, slowing down to pay a little more attention to where she was going. If Marco hadn’t seemed so unbothered about being caught, she would assume he would avoid her like she was going to try and avoid him. What if he tried to talk to her about it? She shivered at the thought, determinedly ignoring the memories trying to surface with the ease of long practice. Where would he not think to look for her? Her first thought was Marco’s room. If he thought, she was trying to avoid him he wouldn’t expect her to be in his space. But what if he went in there for something? Same for her room. He was just contrary enough to go in there looking for her. Finally, she decided on Izou’s room. She knew that the okama was planning on spending the night in Thatch’s room which meant his room would be free. She felt a little bad not asking first, but she couldn’t risk anyone possibly telling Marco where she was.

Once she was safely locked inside the room she laid down on the floor, she couldn’t bring herself to use the bed without speaking to the man first, and she opened her mind, using Observation haki to monitor the ship. This was something she’d never shared, even with her own crew. They knew she could use it, but she’d never let on how sensitive it was. She’d trained to be able to Observe everything from quite a distance, almost the entire ship by now. She knew this said more about her trust issues than she cared to think, that she never just trusted her crew wouldn’t turn on her if they ever found out about her father. She easily found Marco, he and Pops were the most familiar to her at this point, it certainly seemed like he was looking for her, but to her irritation he seemed more amused than anything. She could also sense that he was intrigued. If she had to guess it would be about the fact that he couldn’t find her. Ace hadn’t wanted to give away anything when she was still trying to assassinate Pops and so she’d never hidden herself from haki the way she was now.

She sighed and stretched out. She might as well make herself comfortable, there was no sense in trying to get some sleep, she was almost guaranteed to have nightmares at this point, so she let her mind drift, following the route Marco used to traverse the ship looking for her. She could feel the moment amusement started to fade and give way to concern. Evidently, he’d realized she wouldn’t put this much effort into avoiding him from sheer embarrassment. She laid there watching as his pace increased a little and he stopped to (presumably) ask more and more of the crew if they’d seen her. By her estimate he’d given up looking for her somewhere around one in the morning. She knew he’d be looking for her the next day, but she was determined not to make it easy for him.

She spent the rest of the night planning how she could avoid Marco without it being obvious that she was doing so. That would only bring more questions, and if she could make it look accidental Marco might let it go without talking to her about it.

Her plan started the next morning when she took the last seat at one end of the commander’s table. Marco, when he finally came in, would have to sit at the opposite end of the table and he was unlikely to ask her to come sit with him so they could talk. Ace was keeping her Observation haki active which meant she knew the moment Marco walked in and saw her, but because her back was to the door, she didn’t have to acknowledge him at all. She could feel the relief at seeing her there, acting normal, and the same interest she’d detected last night. She made sure not to pause in her eating, didn’t give any indication she was aware of his presence and he moved past her without saying anything. She followed him with her senses until he sat down and even then, she could tell he was still watching her. 

She waited until he was only about a quarter of the way through his food, way too soon for him to abandon his meal if he didn’t want to get yelled at by the cooks and left to attend to her division. Her job took her all over the ship on a regular day, so it was only too easy to take off when she sensed Marco heading in her direction. And if she maybe took care to hide her presence from both sight and haki, well, no one had to know. She allowed herself to get caught up in a discussion with Haruta until she sensed Marco leaving the galley during lunch and then she made her way down there herself. The afternoon played out much the same way, but it seemed like Marco was putting more effort into finding her. He clearly couldn’t sense her, but, as he was the one who assigned everyone their jobs, he knew what she needed to get done so he seemed to be trying to anticipate where she would go so her could find her that way. If Ace had been paying even the slightest bit less attention to following his movements, it probably would have worked too. But because she could tell where he was waiting, she could make sure to do everything else first, until he gave up and moved on to the next place.

She was one of the first people to arrive in the galley when dinner started. She dug in with all of her usual enthusiasm and then some. Running all over the ship like that really worked up an appetite! She was talking and joking with Haruta and Izou when Marco came in and she cursed a little when she saw him heading for their table. She greeted him like normal and then went back to her food. She could tell he was taken aback by the greeting and was beginning to wonder if she was actually avoiding him after all. He sat down a few seats away from her on the opposite side of the table and though he was talking to some of the others he still snuck some glances over her way every now and then. She finished her food, but continued talking, making sure to seem casual and unconcerned.

Ace kept an eye on Marco throughout dinner, looking for the perfect chance to slip away unnoticed. When she could see that Marco was thoroughly distracted, she seized her opportunity. Rather than head to her room where Marco would easily be able to find her, Ace decided to spend the night in one of the many unattended storage closets on the ship. Most would probably find it uncomfortable, but Ace could sleep anywhere. She was just settling down behind one of the crates when the door opened. Cursing her inattention Ace ducked down, hiding from sight. She quickly regretted this action when Marco entered with five guys in tow.

Okay, Ace thought, just let Marco finish up whatever he was planning. That proved to be a mistake when one of the guys leaned forward and kissed Marco square on the lips. Ace froze again, feeling ice coursing through her veins. Her vision started swimming a little and she tried to focus, but she felt herself getting lost in memories she’d managed to avoid dwelling on for so long. By the time Ace was able to firmly push away the memories it was too late to say anything. Feeling strangely detached from her body, Ace couldn’t help the thought that it just figured that Marco would end up using the room she’d chosen to hide away in for yet another illicit tryst.

Ace closed her eyes and tried to not hear what was happening. She could tell something wasn’t quite right, Marco was clearly begging for more but some of the other men seemed to be hesitating. She could hear one of the men saying something about not wanting to hurt Marco and another one laughing saying that Marco loved being used. Those words might as well have been shouted; they were ringing in Ace’s ears. She lost track of herself and where she was, caught in the past, feeling hands travelling all over her body, hearing words that had been said so long ago about “eagerness” and “enthusiasm”. Ace came back to herself very abruptly when she heard a shout. She blinked as the world came back into focus. It seemed that the affair was over, and she could see Marco was covered in cum. He looked like he’d been used and discarded. A few of the men stepped forward, looking like they wanted to help but Marco snarled at them to leave and though they looked like they wanted to argue, they were afraid of agitating the commander further. 

Ace desperately wished Marco would move on but instead the man had a small breakdown. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he growled to himself, pulling at his hair, ignoring the gasping sobs being wrenched from his body. “Why do you always have to push and push?” He lashed out with a fist, hitting the wall, leaving a large dent. It wasn’t long before Marco succumbed to unconsciousness, welcoming the relief from his own body.

Ace stared at Marco. She did not want to talk to him about everything she’d just seen, but did she really have a choice at this point? She couldn’t just leave him there. She debated sitting there until he woke up, but she could see the cum drying on his skin and she knew she had to clean him up. She reached into her bag and pulled out a cloth. She turned to one of the barrels in the room which she knew was full of fresh water. Using her fire to warm the water up, she dipped the cloth into the barrel and set about gently wiping Marco’s body clean. She worked quietly, avoiding the more personal areas even if that was where he needed the most cleaning. She was just draping the cloth over his lap to provide at least some degree of decency, even if she had just seen him being screwed by five of their crewmates when she was abruptly knocked across the room by a blinding pain in her abdomen. She gagged against the sudden nausea but took a deep breath and looked at the commander she’d just been helping. Marco’s eyes were wide and burning, full of anger and fear. The look on his face was almost feral. “Marco?” she asked, hesitant.

The look in his eyes cleared and the tension in his body slowly relaxed as he recognized her. “Ace?” he asked, confused,

“Yeah,” she said, “I, uh, I was just cleaning, um, you.” She gestured kind of weakly towards the cloth that was still in her hand. Marco’s eyes zeroed in on her hand and he seemed to realize what she meant.

To her surprise he smirked. “Did you watch me again?” he asked, voice a sensual purr. “And here I thought you were just embarrassed before; I didn’t realize you were enjoying the view.”

Ace felt herself go red. She couldn’t ignore the low burn that was starting to ignite in her belly. Marco could see the spreading blush and it encouraged him. “Did you like what you saw?” he asked lightly, leaning closer. “Did it give you ideas? Did you see and want to join in? Did that excite you? Did you want to help fill me? Or did you want to be filled?”

Marco punctuated each question by moving closer, breath getting huskier. Was the room getting hotter? Ace thought incredulously. Was she actually getting turned on by this? Had the mere mention of sex ever inspired any feeling other than fear, disgust and disdain? She’d known for a while that she was at least a little attracted to Marco, but she hadn’t expected anything to come from it.

When Marco was close enough that his breath was brushing against her ear he leaned forward. “Did it make you jealous? Watching person after person pound into me as I just laid there and took it? Being used and used and just laying there waiting for them to be finished?”

Any heat that had been building disappeared in an instant. Ace felt as though she’d just been tossed into the ocean, she felt so cold and powerless. “Stop,” she said, but she could barely hear her own voice, it was so weak. 

She didn’t know if it was just because of how quiet her voice had been or if Marco was just trapped in whatever flashback induced hell he had entered, she recognized the glazed look for what it was, but he didn’t seem to hear her and pressed against her, his leg sliding between her and pressing against her core.

Electricity raced through her spine at the contact and her voice came out clearer than before, tinged with no little panic as the images in front of her eyes began to swim and the hands, she could feel against her hips became someone else’s hands. “Stop.” When she felt Marco’s (that was Marco right?) lips touch her ear she panicked. It wasn’t a conscious choice, but she turned her whole body into flames so that he couldn’t touch her anymore. She was past the point of caring if she accidentally hurt him. The fire seemed to do the trick and Marco suddenly jerked backward, eyes clearing and rapidly filling with horror. He reached forward hesitantly, as if to try and confirm that she was there and real, but that was the wrong move and Ace threw a ball of fire at his head as that hand changed into another hand that she was so familiar with.

Marco let the fire hit him, letting his own flames heal the injury. The knee-jerk reaction let him know that something more was going on than just her being angry with him. He shoved his own guilt aside and took a closer look at the girl. He could see the wide, unseeing eyes and the way they weren’t really focusing on him and that was when he knew that she was stuck in a memory. It gutted him to see that familiar dissociation, he’d had no idea that Ace had such demons hiding in her past.

Marco cautiously lit one of his hands on fire. He’d noticed right from the start that Ace had seemed fascinated by his fire and the flames were unusual enough that she might recognize them even during a flashback. He reached his flaming hand out again, this time more cautiously, but the flames did not garner the same reaction his hand had. He gently laid his hand on her arm, feeling the shudder that ran through her at the contact, but otherwise there was no reaction. Marco was reluctant to touch her further, even with this revelation he still felt like she was too pure and innocent and that he would only be ruining her with his filthy touch.

A movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. Ace’s hands were gripping the cloth so hard her knuckles were turning white and the skin was threatening to split. He moved his hand from her arm down to her hands, gently trying to coax them into releasing their death grip on the fabric. That seemed to do the trick. Ace took in a deep, shuddery breath, and when Marco looked back up, he could see her blinking rapidly, trying to clear the haze her mind had been in. She looked around, not seeming to realize exactly where she was, but he could see the moment she remembers where she was and what had happened. Her eyes snapped to his and he looked away, ashamed.  
Ace shuddered again and she physically pulled away from Marco, who let her go. She wasn’t looking at him, but he had no way of knowing that because he was avoiding looking at her just as much. Ace stood abruptly, motions jerky, “I should go,” she said, sounding dazed.

Marco nodded, just as unsteady as the logia user. Ace started towards the door, stopping short before she left. “We should probably talk.” Marco grimaced at the thought, but after what just happened, he wouldn’t deny Ace anything she wanted. Ace looked just as disturbed at the prospect. “But not now.”

Marco’s shoulders slumped in relief. He would not have denied Ace, but he couldn’t deny the relief of knowing that he still had some time to prepare himself. Ace nodded in his direction and swiftly left the room. She didn’t even bother trying to find a hiding spot. It wasn’t like she needed to hide anymore. She went back to her room and slumped onto her bed, exhausted. She desperately wanted to sleep, especially after staying up the night before, but the thought of trying to sleep so soon after a flashback made her physically ill.

\--------------------------

Ace didn’t end up sleeping that night, she just laid on her bed, staring at the wall, trying not to think about anything. She was one of the first people to arrive for breakfast and she wasn’t surprised to see Marco there either. He looked just as tired and worn out as she did. Though she sat at the same table as him she didn’t set next to him, wanting some more time to herself and she wasn’t surprised when he didn’t try to move over and join her. Apparently, their mutual avoidance had not gone unnoticed. Thatch stormed over to the table and sat next to Ace, hissing in her ear, “What did you do?”

Ace stared blankly for a moment, surprised to see she’d been so lost in her thoughts that the room was now about half full, and then remembered the conversation from the previous day when he’d warned her not to try and get involved with Marco. Not wanting to get into it, she shrugged and tried to go back to her food. Thatch, incensed by the brush off, pulled her plate away.

That one motion gained the attention of every single person in the room. One of the chefs pulling food away from someone was absolutely unthinkable, for someone to pull food away from Ace was equally bizarre. For both of those things to happen brought the galley up short. Ace, already irritated from a second night without sleep and full of leftover adrenaline from her flashback, glared at Thatch, her shoulders catching fire. Thatch ignored the warning from the girl and glared back. He was very protective of Marco and he wasn’t about to let anyone, not even their newest sister, hurt him.

Everyone watched the standoff between the two commanders with bated breath. More people had started arriving in the galley and stopped short at the building tension. Whitebeard was frowning over at his table, wondering what was going on between his two children who were normally thick as thieves. He didn’t usually get involved in his children’s fights, preferring to let them sort themselves out.

“I know you did something!” Thatch hissed again. Ace scowled, the flames on her shoulders getting a little higher. She’d been trying to help. And then Marco had been the one to take things too far. But of course, she was the one being blamed. What did she expect? She was that man’s daughter after all, even if nobody here but Pops knew it. The whole world was against her, why should she expect any different from the crew? Had she really fooled herself into thinking that she’d found a family who cared for her? _Loved_ her? One would think she would know better by now.

If Thatch hadn’t been so focused on trying to protect Marco, he would have noticed the obvious signs of Ace’s defenses, defenses the crew had spent months chipping away at, slamming back up. Several members of the crew, including the former Spade pirates, sighed sadly. Everyone had been so excited to see Ace opening up to the crew and start becoming part of the family and it was disappointing to see all of the progress go up, literally, in flames.

Before Thatch could make things worse, Marco spoke up, “Go back to your post, Thatch.” The words were dripping with exhaustion and a little rough, but they drew Thatch’s attention, nonetheless. When Thatch hesitated, not wanting to upset Marco, but unwilling to let whatever Ace had done go, Marco glared at the commander. “Now!” he barked, raising his voice in a way that was very unlike him. Thatch nodded slowly and slid the plate of food back to Ace. When he finally looked at the girl, he realized how badly he’d screwed up. He hadn’t seen Ace that closed off and angry since back when she was trying to kill Pops. He winced when she shoved the plate right back at him and got up and stormed out. It had been a long time since Ace had refused food. When she’d officially joined the crew, and everyone realized just how large her appetite was they’d been reluctantly impressed with her sheer stubborn refusal to accept their help. No one was happy to see the return of that stubbornness.

Marco looked at Thatch, irritated, and then got up to leave as well. Thanks to Thatch, now the entire crew knew something was going on. Marco knew he needed to talk to Ace. He very much did not want to have to explain what had happened to him, but after what he had done, he owed her an explanation. He was disgusted with himself. He absolutely hated that he’d gotten so lost in his memories that he’d almost forced himself onto a nakama, let alone their youngest sister who was still so skittish with the crew. And it made him a little sick to know that he couldn’t really explain any of what happened to anyone without also giving away Ace’s secret. Which meant that any part of the crew that knew about what had happened to him would blame Ace for what had happened, thinking she’d done something to upset him.

Marco was a little ashamed that he spent most of the day trying to avoid running into Ace. She was missing from his haki sense again, he’d need to remember to ask her about that, he’d never met anyone able to hide themselves so thoroughly, which made it hard to avoid her. In the afternoon he started hearing rumors that Ace had skipped lunch and had refused when members of her division offered to go get food for her.

When Marco arrived to dinner he glanced around and was unsurprised to see that Ace was nowhere to be found. He was almost amused. Her stubbornness had always amused him when he was the one bringing her meals to her when she was still trying to kill Pops. He remembered trying so hard not to laugh at the girl when she refused their help and tried to look tough and defiant covered in bruises and pouting in a corner. He had no doubt she was preparing to go back to whatever she’d been doing during that time so as not to give in until Thatch apologized to her. He made his way over to the commander’s table and saw that he was not the only one noticing Ace’s absence. Thatch looked disturbed by Ace’s absence as well as the angry looks being directed his way from some of the other commanders. Izou in particular looked absolutely furious. Marco sighed and went to get a tray of food for both himself and Ace and set off to find the wayward hothead.

It was a little bit of a surprise for the man when Ace answered when he knocked on her door. He’d expected her to be hiding again or even just not answer the door. Instead the girl opened the door and she smiled faintly when she saw the food. “Do you want to come in?” she asked quietly. And it was a question. This was not a demand for him to explain himself, it was an invitation to talk. Since that was his purpose in getting them both food he nodded. They situated themselves awkwardly. Marco seated himself at the desk while Ace plopped gracelessly onto the bed. Eager to take advantage of the distraction, Ace dug into her meal with gusto. Marco grinned at her enthusiasm.

“You’ll be happy to know that Thatch is quite distraught over all of the meals you’ve missed. No one is happy with the way he spoke to you.”

Ace stiffened a little at the reminder. She avoided Marco’s eyes and said, “It’s fine. I can take care of myself.”

Marco sighed, reaching up to rub his temples. “It’s not fine and you shouldn’t have to. We aren’t just a crew here, we’re family. And family looks after each other. You shouldn’t have to feel like you’re unwelcome anywhere on the ship.”

Ace tried not to react to the words, but she couldn’t help the release of tension in her shoulders. “He didn’t even ask what happened,” she said quietly. “He just automatically blamed me. I was not family or nakama, I was the enemy. And none of you ever looked at me like that before, not even when I was trying to kill Pops. I can’t just forget that.”

Marco grimaced, wishing that he could say something, anything, to make the girl feel better. “Thatch means well. He wasn’t trying to hurt you, he’s just protective.” Marco sighed, turning away from Ace. “I’m sure you’ve managed to figure out what happened to me. It happened five years ago. I wasn’t as careful as I should have been, and I got captured by this pirate crew that was trying to goad Pops into a fight. They were careful to lay low and it wasn’t easy to find me. It took almost three months before I was rescued, and they amused themselves with me as they waited. The commanders and Pops are the only ones who know for sure about the rape but I’m sure others have at least guessed.” Marco gripped his arm tightly, desperate for a distraction. “I refused to talk about any of what happened and even though they think I should get help no one has been willing to push the issue. I started sleeping with crew members about four months after my rescue. It’s like,” Marco paused, struggling to put it into words, “they made me into this thing, this sexual object to be used against the crew and I want to take that back and share it with the crew. But it gets mixed up in my head sometimes and things don’t go right and then it all just creates a huge mess.”

Marco stopped, trying to settle down his emotions that were closer to the top than he cared to consider. He’d spent so long refusing to talk to anyone about what happened, it hurt, tearing open this old wound and he knew he’d be feeling the ache from this for a long time.

Ace let her head thunk hard against the wall. She could vividly picture the scene that Marco had described. And it was too easy to let his nightmare mesh with her own and create even more scenarios to plague her with. She could tell it hadn’t been easy for Marco to talk about. She had to wonder if he’d ever talked about what happened. She certainly hadn’t.

“My brothers are the only people in the world who have ever loved me,” she said quietly. She could sense that she had Marco’s attention, and he didn’t like what she was saying. “My gramps only agreed to take care of me because he made a promise to my father. And even then, he didn’t look after me. He found some bandits, threatened them to take care of me or else, and then left for years at a time. The bandits did not like that. They weren’t great, but they also weren’t that bad for the most part. They believed that everyone had to contribute their part. They couldn’t really make me do anything when I was a baby, but when I got older, they’d make all kinds of demands for chores, food, everything. Then some of the guys decided that I wasn’t doing enough and decided I could contribute as a bed warmer.

“And that went on for a few years, until I got older, stronger, meaner, and angrier. I pretty much grew up in the forest. I raised myself, taught myself to fight, to survive, everything. I ran into this kid who later became my brother and together we weren’t afraid of anything. We built a hide out in the forest and half the time we lived there, the other half we were with the bandits. But at that point Sabo and I were the hunters of the group and we brought home all of the food, so we didn’t have to worry about contributing more. Life was good, simple, and relatively peaceful.”

Marco was hard pressed to contain himself from saying anything. From previous stories he knew that Ace had met Luffy when she was ten and the fact that she had been used as a “bed warmer” already and he still hadn’t made an appearance yet left him repressing the urge to fly to Dawn Island and rip every last one of those bandits limb from limb.

“Then gramps shows up with his actual grandson and told the bandits to raise him too. They did not like that. And the kid was so weak and such a crybaby.” Ace couldn’t help the huge grin that overtook her face. “He was so useless; he couldn’t hit anything and even when he did hit something the hit was so weak. I didn’t like him, and I wouldn’t accept him at first, but I watched the bandits at night. And I was so relieved and so, so angry when they never tried to touch him. Why me and not him? I’d think. I didn’t _want_ anything to happen to him, but I also didn’t want to be the only one who got singled out. It never even occurred to me at the time that the answer was as simple as the fact that I was a girl and Luffy was a boy. Growing up I’ve always known that the world is against me, that somehow people can just see me, and they can just know that I never should have been born.”

Marco’s head snapped to face Ace, who calmly ignored him. Marco was alarmed. That was not past tense. This was something that she still believed. How had he missed that? How had they _all_ missed that? Was that why Pops was so insistent of having Ace join the crew? Had he been able to sense how badly Ace needed someone to love her and take care of her?

“I just kind of assumed that that was part of it. That it wasn’t really about contributing to the household so much as they wanted to hurt me. And they only stopped because I got strong enough to fight back. But life goes on, I grew up. A lady in town on the island we lived on tried to warn me before I set sail about the awful kinds of people you can find when you’re at sea. And I didn’t really get it at first. She was trying to warn me about this horrible thing that might happen and all I could think was why is she warning me now? It doesn’t hurt nearly as much as before. Do you know how big a full-grown man is compared to a kid? So why bother with a warning now when it actually kind of fits?”

Any blood that was still in Marco’s head drained out. He felt cold in a way he hadn’t since before he’d eaten his devil fruit. That was something he hadn’t considered when Ace started her story. Ace had been a child, and a young one at that, and children weren’t…compatible with adults. If what had happened to him was so painful and excruciating as an adult who was more or less the same size as his attacker, what would that be like for a kid that was probably a third their size? And it made him sad and angry to know that Ace just casually accepted being raped again and she comforted herself with the fact that is was easier than before. Marco felt sick to his stomach as he looked at the girl, finally understanding the angry and resentful girl who’d spent over three months trying to kill Pops.

Ace glanced over at him and looked away when she saw his pale face. “Yeah, that was pretty much her reaction too, when I asked her that. I thought she was going to pass out, but instead she got really sad. But she never brought it up again. After I set sail, I was almost always the strongest person in any fight I got into. People offered, but most never really tried to push the issue and if they did, I knew that I could usually take them in a fight. And then once I ate my fruit, I could literally make it so no one could touch me. And the next time I was ever vulnerable I was on the Moby Dick and even if I wouldn’t accept it, I was under Pops’ protection and I knew that nobody would lay a hand on me. Until someone did.” She finished quietly. She wasn’t angry at Marco, but they did need to talk about what had happened.

Marco winced. “Until I did.” He repeated dully, hating the truth of the statement. “I can’t even begin to describe how sorry I am Ace. I got stuck in my head and I got carried away and I never meant to make you feel like you aren’t safe here.”

Ace hummed thoughtfully. “You did though,” she said, almost conversationally, not missing the flinch through Marco’s body. “But not the way you think. I stopped you. I did that with my fire, I could stop it from happening again. And that means something to me. But what happened after? You saw what Thatch did, but several members of the crew came up to ask me what I’d done to you, what I’d said. They were angry at me, Marco. I’m not upset with you, I understand getting stuck in your head and not knowing what’s happening, but the fact is, you put your hands on me and you didn’t stop when I told you to. I had to use my fire to make you stop. And they all blamed me for what happened.”  
Ace turned to face Marco, looking him dead in the eye. “I never told anyone what those bandits did, not even their leader. Part of it was that I thought I deserved it, but also because I didn’t believe that they would believe me over their fellow bandits. But now I know that I’m not safe on this ship because no one is going to believe me over their nakama. You could pin me down and fuck me right here, right now and no one would believe me if I tried to tell them. And that changes things. I don’t trust anyone here anymore. You know I don’t trust easily, and I’ve never trusted someone a second time. I have never given anyone a second chance and I don’t know if I can do it now.”

Marco hated that he’d been the reason for this break of trust. And it chilled him to realize that she was right. If she’d been anyone else in the crew, someone who didn’t have the power of her devil fruit, he might not have snapped out of his flashback until it was too late. And none of the crew from back then would ever believe he would do that to someone else. And for the newest crew member to accuse the oldest? He’d like to think they would listen to her as he family and nakama, but they would almost certainly take his side, believing that there was no way he’d ever do such a thing.

“I’ll fix it,” he promised. “If you’ll let me, I’ll tell them what happened so they can know how badly they—we let you down.” He saw her considering it and inwardly hoped she’d accept his offer. He had to fix this because if he didn’t, they would lose their new sister. He saw her hesitantly nod, she didn’t seem thrilled by the idea, but he didn’t know how they could move forward without it. “There’s one thing I don’t know, though,” he said, catching her attention. “How did you find that storage room in the first place?”

Ace blushed a little. “I was avoiding you all day and I didn’t want to risk you finding me, so I decided to spend the night in that room. Lucky for me, you picked the one I was in for your…fling. You kind of passed out after they left and it didn’t seem right to leave you like that, so I tried cleaning you off, which wasn’t such a good idea, clearly. Then you woke up and you know the rest.”

Damn, Marco thought. She’d been genuinely trying to help him the best that she could, and this was the thanks she got. Marco nodded though, acknowledging what she’d said. “When would you like me to tell them?” he asked quietly.

Ace breathed deeply, “I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight. We’re a couple of days from the next island so I think I’m going to go ahead on Striker. I’ll leave right after this if you want to start gathering everyone together. That’ll give everyone a chance to think before we have to see each other.”

Marco didn’t like the thought of leaving Ace alone after everything. He knew that she was strong, but she looked unbearably fragile right now. He couldn’t deny her request for space though. “Will you promise me one thing?” he asked, unable to help himself.

Ace nodded to him, looking confused.

Marco licked his lips, mouth dry. “Will you still be there when we arrive?”

“What do you mean?” Ace asked, still confused.

“We all let you down in a big way. None of us could blame you for leaving the crew after everything. But at least let us say goodbye. We won’t try to chase you if you leave, but everyone would be devastated if you left without giving them a chance to apologize.”

Ace’s eyes softened a little. “I don’t know if I’m going to leave the crew or not,” she confessed, “but I’ll at least be at the island when you guys get there. I just need to think.”  
Marco was a little relieved at the promise. It worried him how close they were to losing their newest member and he would not let her go without a fight.

\-----------------------

Marco watched the panic rise on deck as people noticed Striker taking off. People were frantically shouting, trying to figure out what was happening. He saw Pops rise from his chair and walk over to the railing and he winced. Marco made his way over to where Pops was standing, where all of the commanders were gathering. Thatch was white as a sheet as he watched Ace sail away, several of the commanders looked particularly faint. “Pops, I need to talk to you and the commanders. I know where Ace is going, and I gave her permission to leave.”

Marco knew he had everyone’s attention. The commanders started to follow him when he hesitated. He hadn’t asked Ace about telling her former crew about what had happened, but if she did end up leaving the crew, it would be cruel for them to keep them. That meant they needed to have the choice of whether or not to follow their former captain. “Former Spade Pirates, you too.”

The atmosphere in the meeting room was thick with tension. Nobody knew what was about to happen. Marco and Ace had been avoiding each other for at least a day, Thatch had said something to Ace, and now Ace had left the ship. What was going on?

Marco wished desperately that he could be anywhere but here right now. But as First Mate, as Ace’s brother, he just had to deal. With a deep breath he addressed the room. “You all know what happened five years ago,” he ignored the looks of alarm he received for bringing up that time and the confusion from the Spade’s. “And you all know how I’ve chosen to deal with it.” He saw the grimaces and looks of guilt from various commanders and the sorrow from Pops. “Well, two days ago Ace accidentally walked in on something and then she ran away and avoided me before I could talk to her about it. While trying to avoid me, she decided to sleep in one of the storage closets on deck so that I wouldn’t find her in her room. Unfortunately, I picked that room for another little tryst.” Several of the commanders looked a little saddened by the mention of Marco’s flings, but overall, they seemed confused as to where he was going with this. “Ace hid while we were in there and I passed out afterwards. She felt like she couldn’t just leave me there, so she decided to try to help.” People looked alarmed at the mention that he had been hurt enough to actually pass out.

Marco averted his eyes. “I didn’t react well when I woke up and found her there. But when it looked like she’d been spying on me I thought she might be interested in something. I…wasn’t in my right mind at the time and I pushed myself into a flashback.” He could see Thatch, Jozu, and Curiel looking particularly concerned, but the Spade Pirates were looking at him with suspicion. They wanted to know why their captain was gone and they did not like the way this was going. “I came out of the flashback when Ace set herself on fire. I didn’t hear her telling me to stop or trying to push me off of her.”

Everyone in the room was staring at Marco in abject horror. Marco looked down in shame. “When she turned into fire, I snapped out of it. That’s when I saw that I’d pushed Ace into a flashback.” The horror was still present, but also some confusion. Why would Ace have had a flashback?

“She left the room after that, saying we’d talk later. I went to see her during dinner, and we talked. I told her about what happened five years ago, and she told me about being molested when she was growing up.” The horror from before tripled. The Spade Pirates looked torn between that horror and rage at the fact that Marco had put his hands on their captain. Thatch, Izou, and even Pops looked gutted. “From what she told me, it sounds like it went on for a couple of years, but it started when she was young. She said she wasn’t upset about what had happed the night before and that she understood getting stuck in a bad memory. But she’s really upset about what happened today. She never told anyone about what happened when she was younger because she didn’t think anyone would believe her over their friend and comrade. And then she said a lot of the crew came to her today thinking she’d done something to upset me. She doesn’t trust us anymore. Today confirmed everything she ever worries about. People blamed her for upsetting me when I was the one in the wrong. And now Ace doesn’t trust any of us to take her word over someone who has been on the crew longer than she has. She said everyone just automatically blamed her and no one even asked what happened, just taking what they thought to be my side.”

Thatch was so pale Marco was worried he might actually pass out. He could see which of the commanders had talked to Ace today just by watching who suddenly looked like they’d been stabbed in the heart. Pops had closed his eyes, grieving for his daughter and feeling so disappointed in his children.

“Ace went out on Striker to head to the next island. She wanted to have some space before she saw any of us again. I asked her not to leave without talking to us. She’s thinking about leaving the crew.” Izou and Haruta made immediate noises of protest, not that anyone else looked anything less than devastated at the prospect. “She promised not to run away before we got there. She doesn’t know if she can give us another chance but she’s going to think about it.”

Whitebeard opened his eyes and studied Marco. He could see how badly Marco was blaming himself and knew he would need to speak to him in private. He could tell that there was still something he wasn’t telling them. What could possibly be worse than what had already been said? “What else happened, son?”

Everyone looked between Marco and Whitebeard, confused by the question. Whey they looked at Marco they could see there was still something bothering him. Marco took a shaky breath. “It was just something Ace said, it’s not—well it is a big deal, especially the fact that she doesn’t think it is, but—”

“What else is there?” Thatch exclaimed, overwhelmed by everything he’d already heard.

Marco flinched. That little reaction was so telling to the crew and they waited with bated breath to hear what more he had to say. “It was just a passing comment, she’s been raped again since then, by the sounds of it, more than once. And she said that it’s not as painful as before because now things more or less fit.”

Izou actually retched at that, Thatch, Curiel and Atmos looked like they weren’t far behind. How do you even respond to something like that? No one knew and they were left sitting there, trying to process everything they’d heard. The horrified silence was broken by Deuce walking up to Marco. The man was shaking with rage as he squared off with the First Mate, who couldn’t meet his eyes. “Did you rape her?” he asked quietly.

Everyone’s head snapped up at that. Deuce only had eyes for Marco. “You said she stopped you, but you didn’t say how far you went. Did you rape my captain?”

Marco looked at the ground, unable to look at Ace’s former First Mate. “No,” he said, and there was a palpable relief in the air, “she didn’t let it get that far. But what did happen was bad enough.”

Deuce tilted his head back, considering. “And you’d have let me kill you if you had, wouldn’t you?” Seeing Marco’s nod Deuce nodded, looking satisfied. “I believe you. I will follow my captain if she leaves,” he warned, “but I will not have a problem following you if we stay.”

That surprised Marco. Ace’s crew was incredibly loyal to her, that was one of the things that let them know she’d be a great fit with the crew, but they were also the same kind of stubborn that she was. Plus, they were even more protective of her than she was of them. He’d expected to lose their respect permanently because of this. Deuce could see the surprise in Marco’s eyes and said, “I’ve been Ace’s nakama longer than anyone else. I was with her before she ever ate her devil fruit. I know what she looks and acts like when she’s been hurt that badly. If you had hurt her, I never would have forgiven you. But if she can still respect and follow you then so can I.”

His response floored everyone, including the rest of the Spade Pirates. Deuce had known? Though several people felt a little hurt that Ace hadn’t trusted them, they were still relieved to know that at least someone had been looking out for her.

“My children,” Whitebeard said, “I can’t express how disappointed I am that this has been allowed to happen.” Marco, Jozu, Thatch and Jiru all hung their heads in shame. “But now is not the time for casting blame of judgement. Right now, we need to focus on helping our youngest crew member heal from what has been done. The judgement for your actions lies with Ace alone. We need to find a way to let the crew know what is going on without betraying the precious trust we have been shown. And this can’t happen again. I will not lose one of my children, especially not to the thoughtlessness of my other children.”

Everyone agreed immediately. No one was really sure what to say to the crew, but they knew they needed to convey that Ace was not the one to blame for what was currently happening.

\--------------

Ace made it to the island easily enough. It was almost ironic; all of this mess had started basically because she was desperate to get off the ship for a few minutes and have some time for herself. She thought about going into the town and renting a room but decided against it. After the complete mess of the last few days, a night camped out of the beach was just what she needed. Ace made sure to set her little camp up far enough on shore that she was in no danger of being caught by high tide. She’d made good time with her little skiff. By her estimate it was somewhere around one or two in the afternoon. There wasn’t a lot of point in trying to sleep right then so instead she ventured into the forest to find some food. The wind had picked up so the Moby Dick would likely arrive sometime tomorrow afternoon. Despite telling Marco that she would use the time alone to think, she found her mind wandering all over the place.

It was comfortingly easy to slip back into the role of hunting, eating, training and sleeping. The day passed by quickly and Ace was out for the night almost before the sun finished setting.

A good night’s sleep made a world of difference. A lot of the negative emotions were dulled now, but it was still hard for Ace to process. When she’d finally told Whitebeard about her father, she’d thought she’d finally found somewhere to belong. How was she supposed to go back and act like nothing had happened?

Ace headed into town, lost in her thoughts, not really paying attention to her surroundings. This proved to be quite the mistake when she heard a shout of “PIRATE!” Ace looked up and saw a group of marines gathered around. Normally this wouldn’t have been a big deal, but Ace felt all of the blood drain out of her face when she saw who was coming out of the building behind them.

Ace turned and ran for her life, Garp’s bellow of “GET BACK HERE, YOU DAMN BRAT!” spurring her on to move even faster. She made it to the forest easily enough, but she could tell that he was gaining on her, slowly but surely. Ace cursed. They hadn’t gotten any information saying there were marines in the area, much less Garp, or she never would have suggested coming here on her own. Hell, if she’d known that she probably would have tried to turn the entire Moby Dick around, restlessness be damned. She set several of the trees on fire to try and slow him down but knew it wouldn’t be much help.

Ace’s distraction proved to be her downfall because after running for what felt like hours, she felt the tell-tale pain of the so-called ‘Fist of Love.’ The fact that it still hurt despite now being made of fire confirmed her long-held suspicion that Garp used haki to enhance his fists. Ace crashed hard into the ground, jaw clicking together painfully.

“You little brat!” Garp bellowed. “How dare you become a pirate! And how dare you join Whitebeard’s crew!”

Ace groaned. Of all the things she missed from back home, that was not one of them. She heard Garp sigh and sit down next to her. She looked up surprised. Garp never let any of them off that easy. She could see him looking at her, not glaring as he so often was, instead giving her a look of concern.

“What happened, brat?”

Ace looked at him, confused. Seeing her confusion Garp sighed. “You almost walked right into a group of marines. I know I trained you better than that. And those damn granddaughter-stealing Whitebeard pirates don’t just let people run off on their own. And yet there’s no sign of any of those bastards coming to your rescue.”

Ace rolled over onto her back. She wasn’t about to tell the man about what happened with Marco, and she’d never told him about the bandits, she had no intention of that changing anytime soon. “I’m thinking about leaving the crew,” she admitted quietly. Garp looked at her, silently prodding for more information. 

“They blamed me for something without any proof. And I didn’t do anything wrong. But of course, it’s always my fault,” she added bitterly.

Garp sighed. Though he’d been disappointed that Ace chose to become a pirate, he’d understood. And he’d been proud when he heard she’d joined the Whitebeard pirates. Ace had always needed more than he could give her. Luffy and Sabo had helped, but he knew that Whitebeard and his ridiculous crew could give her the family she’d always wanted.

It was so strange for Gramps not to be immediately yelling at her that Ace decided to keep talking. “I can’t trust them anymore. But I thought the same thing with Sabo and see how that turned out.” Ace felt the ache in her chest that always came from talking about Sabo. She’d been so angry when he’d gone home, even though she knew he’d only done it to save them. And then before she ever had a chance to forgive him, he’d been killed. She didn’t want that to happen with the Whitebeards, but she didn’t know if she was even capable of forgiving anyone.

“You are just like your father,” Garp sighed. Ace bolted upright, ready to rant and rave when Garp silenced her with a look. “Roger did not suffer betrayal lightly. He was well known for never forgiving a perceived insult and not letting things go.” Ace looked away, refusing to admit to any similarity with that man. “But Roger also loved his crew dearly. I think he’d have forgiven them for just about anything, even stabbing him in the back. As far as family goes,” here Garp pulled a face as though the words physically pained him to say, “you could do worse than Whitebeard and his crew.”

Ace had to smile at the look on Garp’s face. Garp could see the little smile on Ace’s face and grumbled at her to shut up. When it looked like Ace had relaxed a bit, Garp asked, “What happened?”

Ace sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it. The thing that started everything wasn’t a big deal, but everyone’s reaction was. Luffy would never have been upset in the first place and Sabo was always so forgiving. But I’m not like them.”

Garp made a considering noise. “Well I can always arrest them and throw them down Impel Down to rot. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about it.”

Ace glared at Garp. “You are not arresting my crew, Shitty Gramps.”

To her surprise Garp smirked at her. “Doesn’t sound like you’re very upset with them then. Don’t think about forgiving them or not. That will either happen or it won’t. When trust is broken it takes a long time to come back. Even if you do choose to forgive them, you’re not going to just trust them all again right away. So, don’t even worry about that right now. Right now, what you want to know if whether or not to leave the crew. So, don’t think about forgiving them. Thing about leaving them.”

Ace was gaping at the man. Since when did Shitty Gramps give actual advice? And good advice at that? Well, at least it was better than his ‘training.’ Ace closed her eyes and tried to imagine leaving the crew. Tried to imagine never playing pranks with Thatch, never hearing another story from Pops, never teasing Marco with bird jokes, never teasing Vista for having the classic villain mustache, never returning to her room on the Moby Dick and knew that she didn’t want to leave.

She turned to face Garp and told him as much. He sighed. “I suppose it was too much to hope that you’d decide to give up piracy and become a good, upstanding marine.” With a grunt, Garp stood. “Well, you officially escaped marine custody with your nefarious pirate ways, so be more careful when you go back into town.”

Rather than hold put a hand to help her up, like a normal person, she thought angrily, Garp picked her up by the strap of her bag so she was dangling in the air. Before she could protest the manhandling, she felt the familiar fogginess of a sleep attack and she was out like a light.

\--------------

There was none of the usual jubilation or excitement as they approached the island. There’d been an aura of uneasiness around the deck since yesterday. Only the commanders knew the full details of the story and they weren’t sharing, but everyone knew that Ace had gone ahead to the island alone and that something was wrong. That feeling of unease increased a great deal as they got closer and saw the marine ship in the dock.

Marco cursed. Ace had the absolute worst luck of any person he’d ever met. She attracted trouble like no other person he’d ever met. He shared a look with several of the commanders. Hopefully, Ace had had the sense to lay low and avoid confrontation while she was alone. Unfortunately, sense and Ace rarely seemed to occupy the same space.

The crew disembarked with their usual energy, already planning through which supplies would need to be re-stocked and talk of whether or not they’d be able to stay for a few days. The crew was big enough and they had enough of the strong fighters that the marines would hopefully be smart enough not to try anything. Marco joined Thatch and Izou on their walk around town to scout out the situation. Thatch desperately wanted to look for Ace, but knew he needed to re-stock food before he could.

It didn’t take long for them to find the marines. Marco and Thatch stayed in the shadows where they could not easily be seen and got as close as they dared.

“It sure was brave of the Vice Admiral to go after Firefist all by himself.” One of the marines said as Marco cursed.

“Yeah. She looked pretty scared when she saw him too,” another one snickered.

Marco swore and quickly made his way out of town. When he was sure the marines wouldn’t see him, he transformed his arms into wings and flew up to look around. It was easy to see the smoke of burning trees and see the trail that they needed to follow. He landed quickly and turned to face the others. Jiru, Jozu and Rakuyo had joined them, seeing Marco take to the air alerting them to possible danger.

“A Vice Admiral is after Ace,” Marco said. “They’re somewhere in the forest, we just need to follow the path of the fire.” There was no hesitation. Rescuing a nakama took precedence over anything else. There was a great deal of anxiety as they got closer to where the fight was taking place. Trees were burning and it looked like someone had punched their way through the burning forest to try and catch up to her.

“Shit!” Izou cursed, bringing the group to a halt. Izou had better eyesight than the rest of them and had clearly seen something. “It’s Garp.”

Marco cursed. Garp was crazy strong. He usually left them alone due to his sort-of not-friendship with Pops, but if he thought he’d caught one of them on their own would he try and take them? He didn’t know the answer and didn’t want to find out. He motioned the group forward slowly, not wanting to give away their position, but when they were able to see Garp holding an unconscious Ace aloft by nothing but the strap of her bag, all thoughts of subtlety went out the window.

Marco leapt forward and aimed a kick at Garp’s arm, hoping to break his grip on Ace. Garp dodged easily, looking almost amused. It must have been Marco’s imagination, but it almost looked like he was being intentionally careful with Ace. Thatch and Jozu both leaped into the fray, each trying to separate Ace from her captor while Izou was taking careful shots to try and take Garp down.

There was a slight groan from Ace, letting them know she was coming to, which was a relief. Garp noticed the sound too, and in a completely unexpected move he threw Ace at Marco, knocking him out of the air. Marco managed to grab a hold of Ace before she crashed to the ground and he jumped back so that the others were acting as a shield.

“Are you alright?” Marco demanded when he saw that Ace was awake.

Ignoring Marco’s concern, Ace indignantly shouted, “What the hell, Shitty Gramps! Did you just throw me?”

If it weren’t for the obvious head trauma Marco would have smacked Ace upside the head. They were lucky enough that he gave her back to them so easily, did she really have to antagonize him by calling him old?

Garp threw his head back with a laugh. “You cheeky brat, is that any way to speak to your beloved Grandpa?”

“You threw me!” Ace shouted. Her and her brothers had gotten knocked around a fair bit growing up, but there was something inherently humiliating about being picked up and thrown through the air.

Thatch spun around, gaping. “Did you just say that Garp the Fist is your grandpa?”

All of the commanders stopped attacking to stare at their resident hothead in disbelief and astonishment as Ace nodded simply, not realizing what the big deal was. Garp raised his fist at Ace. “You rotten brat, how dare you not tell your crew about your beloved Grandpa!”

Ace’s eyes widened in horror. “Oh shit,” she whimpered. “Run, Marco, run!”

A little annoyed at being worried for no reason, Marco considered dropping Ace and leaving her to her fate, but he decided, just this once, to be nice. And also, to get a little revenge on some of the commanders that had been the ones to cause Ace’s departure in the first place, Marco turned around and ran. “I’ll leave this to you Thatch,” he yelled out, smirking at the outraged cursing coming from the people he abandoned. Ace was laughing wildly as they ran back to the Moby Dick.

When they reached the deck, ignoring the looks of alarm and confusion from the lingering crew member, they looked each other in the eye before collapsing in a pile of limbs laughing like loons. Whitebeard looked at his children, fondness and relief in his eyes. He’d been very worried when he heard that Ace was thinking of leaving the crew and so it did his old heart good to see her laughing carefree with her siblings.

Watching his two most troubled children he felt hope that they’d be able to help each other heal and finally move past their past traumas. Watching the way, they casually leaned into each other’s space, no hesitation in offering and accepting trust and he felt hope that he would not have to wait long at all to see the two of them free from their burdens.


End file.
